i wanna get down.

2010-07-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

I am always taken for granted, aren't i?

2010-01-13T09:02:00.001+08:00

graduating from BPGHS with a mediocre result is embarrassing at the same time disappointing but maybe i deserved it or like my aunt said, maybe it's Allah's way of showing that im meant to go to a polytechnic. where do i go with 11 points for R4? i dont think NP's mass comm would even consider me and well there goes what i've been aiming for. damn girl, why did i do badly for my Sciences!? im thinking of going to TP right now. if that happens, then a weird family tradition will unfold. HAHA K BYE.

2009-12-25T00:54:00.005+08:00

i love this picture ♥♥♥

work has been great! i didnt actually want to fold clothes all day, but hmmm yeah that's what im doing. very lolololololololol huh. the first-job-experience thing is kinda cool. from learning about the different jeans cuttings, to having customers calling you darling/sayang, to folding Liz Claiborne (baju sayur that is flown into SG from the states), to singing hindustan songs with Naim, to teaching Tiffany the China co-worker how to say "yo", to celebrating Kathy's birthday, to paying $20.80 because of my mistake handling the cash register, to being heartbroken looking at Shikin buy & wear new clothes, to seeing the same customers come to the shop 3/4 days in a row, to eating Qi Ji's delicious laksa almost every lunch break!, to dread coming to work but at the end of the day loving it, to being irritated by customers who are so picky, to going to the lobby to run away from a customer, to meeting handsome boy (hehe!), to laughing about so many stuff with Naim& Shikin. &well, the list adds on every day. here's one sentence that pretty much sums up the whole paragraph: I LOVE MY FIRST JOB!

apart from my job, i think Syahirah's Starbucks is on the way (if you get what i mean)! ;)

2009-12-07T13:09:00.006+08:00

This is Jeremy Manongdo, otherwise known as Passion.
He's really awesome ♥

She’s my sunshine in the rain
My Tylenol when I'm in pain yeah
Let me tell you what she means to me
Like a tall glass of lemonade
When it’s burnin’ hot on summer days
She’s exactly what I need

She’s soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand
She takes care of me
And she helps me be a better man
She’s so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes
She’s exactly what I need

She’s my smile when I’m feelin’ blue
My good night sleep when the day is through
Let me tell you what she means to me
(She’s kinda like this)
Kinda like the feelin’ after your first kiss
Except that Everyday she makes me feel like this
She’s exactly what I need

She’s soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand
She takes care of me
And she helps me be a better man
She’s so beautiful, sometimes I stop to close my eyes
She’s exactly what I need

someone please sing this song to me :)

2009-12-04T15:01:00.004+08:00

we used to be close, all three of us. but circumstances changed abang and made him more reserved. things he went through, i dont think i'd have the strength to pull through. waiting outside the Emergency Centre at NUH yesterday made me think. i thought Allah was being unfair to my mother and my elder brother. my elder brother is always getting sick and my mother is always thrown with challenges in life, i think she's had more than enough. it was real tough seeing my mother cry yesterday, the first after abang's cancer period. she looked so petrified, so vulnerable, it made me scared. it was like a similar scenario i had been through around 4 years ago and i swear i'd do anything to not have to go through that again. abg had asthma, cancer, and i didnt know what was going to happen to him. honestly, i was really really scared for him, i wished it was me inside there, not him. i bet he's sick of the hospital. the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor. the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital. he's been there too many a times and i'm sure he doesnt want my mother to keep worrying about him. but alhamdulillah, everything's fine now. his gums were bleeding because 4 wisdom tooth wanted to grow but the jaw bones prevented them from growing. he showed me a video he took while he was in the toilet, and it was terribly disgusting.

the more i thought about it, the more i realised. Allah loves us, loves my family. that's why he keeps putting us through situations like this. there he goes again, giving me another chance yet to right my wrongs, indirectly.

2009-11-21T02:00:00.003+08:00

hugs for all of the people who have been helping me out this year &getting me through my O Level! without you guys, i would probably be prioritizing wrongly and not focus. Thank you guys so much for encouraging me along the way. I hope i do well! Amin (:

2009-11-11T16:58:00.007+08:00

i never thought i'd be feeling this way about an artiste. his sound and music grasps my soul, pretty much making me addicted to every single song. it feels like im falling in love all over again. his energy is so infectious that i am sure it will be dominating the world in the near future. the thing is, i've never seen anyone like him. a producer &a graduate from an ivy league university, now he's introducing himself as an artiste. the way he spends his time in the studio, going kooky making beats from one morning to the next. he brings about a special kind of swag that really turns me on &he has a sentimental side to him that captures my attention. he can practically play every musical instrument you can find in this universe &find a fucking awesome beat for a new song. i totally have no idea how to describe this feeling. mesmerized? spellbound? magnetized? captivated? alah, all the above! i cant wait for Transition to arrive in Singapore, i hope it does. i should go ask him. i really love it how he is so in touch with his fans, listening to what they have to say &that kind of shit. like i said, R doesnt get enough props and press for the sick beats he make. he's a real beast. i have to meet him one day. i just really have to. it would really be an honour. i love love youuuuuuuuuuuuu! <3>

fresh like the kiss of morning dew

2009-11-05T08:13:00.003+08:00

lost/loss

I sat in the examination room on the 3rd of Nov, trying to focus on doing my paper at 8am.
I think i prettymuch screwed up my Combined humanities.
Earlier on, my mum got a call from my aunt at 6.30 in the morning.
She was crying, asking if we had already heard the news.

My uncle had passed away.

His family has been very important in my life
because they provided shelter for mine when we were lost &had no shelter.
I lived with him for 2 years.
I dont think i've expressed my gratitude to him for his deed, and now i regret this.
I still remember him crushing crabs &serving us chilli crab.
He's a great cook, really.
Aisyah, if you remember, he's the one we meet at the food court in Penin.
Although im not that close to him, i still feel a loss.
No more crazy uncle who eats tulang with tools.
I'll never forget that!

Now 2 out of 12 siblings have returned to Allah s.w.t.
I imagine myself being in my grandmother's shoes,
it must be devastating that her husband &2 children have gone before her.

They said he left a lot of hints that he was going to leave us.
Once, when his wife told him to quit smoking, he said,
"Nevermind, I wont be around in November anyway."
&when he cooked for his friend who lives in the same block, he said,
"So this will be the last time i'll cook for you lah eh."
He didnt allow any of us to go raya at his house,
instead he cooked for the whole family during the rewang of Abang boboy's wedding.
I guess we never really pay attention to or realise the things he said, until he has gone.

I really pity his children, aged 10&14.
Prettymuch like Dyna &Nadhir when their dad passed away.
The younger one, i think still doesnt quite understand the situation
&Khairi now has to be matured, being the only guy in the family.
I really hope they can overcome this hurdle in their life.

To be honest, i have never really accepted the fact that some of the people i love have left me.
My grandaunt &Nadhir's dad.
It's not that i dont want to accept it. just that my brain hasnt really absorbed the fact.
Everytime i sleepover at Nadhir's, i just think that Wak Man is away for religious classes at night.
But well, i guess these things just happen in life.
People come and go, prettymuch like seasons.

4 years ago in November, Nadhir's dad passed away
4 months later, Wak Paiman passed away in March.
I just really hope that no one else leaves the family next March or November or even any day.

Semoga segala dosa Allahyarham Paidi Bin Satariman diampuni Allah yang Maha Pengampun
&semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.
Amin.

2009-09-13T02:36:00.003+08:00

im constantly trying to find who i really am cos well im confused.
how does one know who they are?

i just celebrated 2 of my friends' birthday - Anis&Fazleen
&well, it reminds me once again that i am sixteen
&i have to start thinking about my future
because the choices i make will determine how i will turn out
of course nobody wants to make the wrong choices
but that's what im afraid of
wrong choices.

do i go to Poly or JC?
people tell me to keep my options open
you see, if i go to JC, idk if im cut out for it.
i mean it seems really stressful, having to take the A levels in a year and a half's time.
but well, if i go to Poly, im afraid i wont be able to get used to the different culture there.
so i have to knw myself well then i have to make the choice
but how do i do that exactly?

just keep searching just keep searching.

2009-08-30T17:50:00.002+08:00

funny we used to think that it was us against the world. all those times we promised to stand together and stand by each other, meaningless now? i just had a sententious talk with my already 16 years old buddy (*wink) Humairah at madrasah today and she seems to be going through the same thing with her very own social circle. does everybody goes through this stage in life, at the same time? it's almost awkward to think that both Humy and i are experiencing this cold shoulder sorta thing between our friends at this moment in life. it's just too coincidental. and we were saying like now, we should all be matured and not be goofing around too much.

honestly, what's your friendship policy? maybe there's a difference in your definition of friendship as compared to ours. shouldnt friends be about sharing everything with each other, whether the good and the bad? furthermore we were hell of a bunch of great friends, that made almost everyday a memorable experience. so why now, when there are 'inhibitors' on your side, you turn to them? are guy figures more important than your own true friends? because the picture that one of them posted on facebook (alhamdulillah) shows that we dont mean a thing to you. so are you happy that we are hurt? are you happy you get to go spend your time with guys at yr waist giggling and laughing like nobody's business? are you happy having to front and act like nothing has happened in front of us? kawan-kawan yang baik sekali, bukan? (:

maybe you guys should do a session of muhasabah diri eh.
perbaikilah diri kamu sebelum diri kamu diperbaiki olehNya!
so think, who are your true friends?

2009-08-28T22:53:00.002+08:00

in life, at some point of time, you would have to face tormenting challenges be it in your family, in school or with friends. i wonder how you could have gone through those days in the lurch, unaided. for that, i salute you and respect you a whole lot for you are the reason i am still here today. amin.

but at sixteen, right now, i feel like i have so much things to worry about and new problems surface without me asking for them. like please, now is not the time to think about all these. why now? i cant bear looking at you worried and sad about what is going on or what he said to you. i am not strong enough for that, i am not strong, not like you. and what's all these nonsense about choosing? and boasting and all that crap? you have brains overwhelming with correct answers about physics and math but you have zero feelings. please reflect upon yr actions. thanks for the memories though, i'll keep them close to my heart.

at least im glad my mother sends me to religious classes once a week, which reminds me i have Allah and how close He can be to me, if only i asked for things i need in life. i love being a Muslim. you know, at hard times like this, just know that Allah is there for us. it's just a toll we have to take, another busy road we have to cross. this makes me feel a lot lighter in facing it cuz i know Allah will soon replace these problems with pahala & rewards in the afterworld.

if i could let go of all these life-problems and just forget about the world for a few days, i would like to devote all my attention to the one and only, because i feel that with all these keduniaan, we often forget about the keakhiratan, yes the afterworld. and im really afraid of it cuz i cant find the balance between both, i need to. i need time. i need someone to guide me. i dont want the world and i dont need the world. i admit sometimes i leave my duties as a Muslim and i feel scared because Allah is always watching my every move. every rule of His that i'm breaking, countless.

i really need time.

to think about this world He has made for us.
about Him and what He can do for us
about what He has blessed me with in my life
about the fact that He observes my every action
about what im not doing enough as His servant, ibadah &my wrong doings
about the bustling world &the afterworld
and about death, where it will take me for hell is not a place for Muslims who have been given a chance in the world to redeem themselves a place in heaven.

i want to be placed with the people with piety&good values.
insya Allah.

2009-08-22T18:14:00.003+08:00

i've got a new found love: wandering about places alone. you know, speculating the history behind them; who did what where &how. it's soothing, peaceful &relaxing but yet you're working your brain, analyzing. get what i mean? sometimes i wonder, does anyone else do this? some people say having company is better. but the thing is, you spend so much time with so many different people that sometimes, you need time on your own. at times, too much things and thoughts collocate in your mind that you wished it would all skedaddle. but truthfully, being alone, makes me ruminate about what has been happening in my life, the good and the bad and the things i could &should improve on.

recently, i got a chance to bring someone close out with me to the place i've been exploring. i really had an amazing, amazing time. finding out where the smells came from and finding out about vintage bands. how they sound like crap without any proper musical arrangements& how the singer tries hard to sound what they think is nice but is actually nasty. out of the 23 songs in the album, only ONE sounded nice.

what's the question you're asking?

what's my answer i gave, that made me feel like i was on a train?

it was a distant voice

maybe make a choice

that i had to get the fuck out of this town

i've got a lot of things to do

a lot of places to go

i've got a lot of good things coming my way

&i'm afraid to say that you're not one of them.

last time i was there

you were on the couch

pressed into a Lipsle electric tool

it was the way that you smiled

that made me know at once

that i have to get the fuck out of this town

cuz i've decided to make a stand

&i'm not gonna take your hand

i'm takin' the next bus outta here

i'm gonna hand the box of the amo.

i need some box elder.

2009-08-12T22:34:00.000+08:00

a lot of things have been on my mind lately
&spending the weekend over at Nadhir's house made me feel a bit better
having someone close that you can talk to is always comforting.

i dont think the rest knows about where we went
but i wanted to be there for you
to catch you in case you fall, to keep your tears from falling.
because after all your time and effort, i gathered you needed someone to lean on.

you feel like you're doing the wrong thing
you feel like it's not right, you feel guilty.
but why should you?
why should you think of others when they take you for granted?
Maybe it's time you think about yourself.

i admit i was intimidated by the sight of the building itself.
i knew you tried to remain calm when deep down you were nervous.
im sorry if i didnt make you feel any better
i just wanted to be there for you.

i hope everything goes well for both sides.

Amin.

2009-08-03T21:09:00.002+08:00

i've done so much socializing, think it's time i stopped.
&please, reflect upon your actions.
you know they very much hurt her.

2009-07-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

to the boy who's trying hard to look like some guy in a Korean band,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

maybe someday you'll be able to change your name Edmund Tan Bing Hong to Roxas Edmund Xavier!
hope i'm the last one to wish (:

xoxo.

2009-07-25T21:36:00.005+08:00

a sister, a best friend.

i wish i had an elder sister.
a sister who'd listen to my problems and give me advice.
a sister who'd not mind sharing her problems with me even though im younger &probably less sensible/mature than she is.
a sister who'd take me out and have dinner together.
a sister who'd shower me with little gifts when she gets her pay. (:

i find it so cool to have an elder sister.
if you observe closely, younger sisters tend to dress up like their elder sisters. (well maybe not sashimi :/ )
they develop a liking to what their elder sisters think is hip&chic.
well, maybe because they look up to them/they want to be just like them.
i'd want a sister to look up to.
personally i think i look up to my cousin kak nana, since we share a lot of common interests.
i always sleepover at her house since i was as little as young, go on vacations &well do some stuff probably inappropraite for you to know, together. :P
well i bet she'd be beaming if she's ever reading this! IRRI.

(in Indonesia.)

i was watching Ticket To VH1 on MTV when they had the Top 5 celebrity siblings on.
Hilary&Haylie Duff were one of them &i find it cute how both of them are bestfriends.
i guess being born 2 years apart doesnt become an obstacle for their sibling-ship(?) haha.
this is so unlike me and my elder brother.

but then again im blessed to have met two people whom i have regarded as my sisters,
(you know who you are (: )
you guys make my life a whole lot more meaningful.
im glad we got our mistakes sorted out, i apologise once again.
but what's any kind of relationship without a mess, right?

well, whatever it is, i thank Allah for blessing me with 3 guy siblings.
(abang, rano and adik, my cat.)
guess it's better to have some than to have none!

xoxo.

2009-07-24T21:52:00.003+08:00

sometimes you lose your way, but you just have to find it back.

i know it's old but keep it close to your hearts.
props to Lupe for this one! <3

xoxo

2009-06-28T22:57:00.013+08:00

teenage angst.

teenagers like to think they are always right, yes, even me, i admit it
but one thing you should never do is run away from your home.
one asshole told me he felt like running away from his home
& his reason : his mother.

well, i know of a couple of people who once did run away
from the comfort of their own homes
& guess what, they came back.
teenagers react the way they feel like reacting at that very moment
they never think of the consequences, the bad ones especially,
until they realise they need their parents
no matter how bad they treat you, they are very much still, your parents
parents sometimes say things they dont mean at the fit of anger
like: 'you're useless' or 'sometimes i think it'd be better if i didnt give birth to you'
even if they meant it, what made them say it? you right?
it is our very own actions that agitate our parents so much that they feel like hating us
but they dont, really really really, they dont & never will
because they brought you into this world &raised you up
wishing you would be useful&successful people
&then you end up doing things they dont permit you to like,
smoke, drink alcohol, get piercings, get tattoos
just about every single thing they dont want you to do, you do it
how do you think they feel? damn damn toooooot i tell you.

so teenagers, dont ever do things to hurt your parents,
which will cause them to spurt nonsense at you and you get irritated
and eventually run away from home. please &thank you.

im ending off the post with pictures of things i did this June!

2009-06-22T00:19:00.013+08:00

boys will be boys, hiding in oestrogen ;)

boys huh?
most of the time, they make you wait for them.
some make you wait in town alone for a lot of minutes more than once, some tell you to be there by 2.50 but they only come at 3.20
while some, well, have dance performances and make you wait for 30 minutes, standing! bummer.
but it's amazing how similar bitching with a guy is to bitching with a girl!
well i know of a few, and they are vicious, i tell you.
haha, k a bit exaggerating but well,
guys make good listening ears too &it's good to get a guy's perspective sometimes.

i went out with 2 guys this week.
Shidy my brotherrrrrrrr/crew mate! like finally. (Saturday)
& Khai (: (Sunday)

here's Shidy!

he was trying to make me look taller &he calls me ZIE now! hmph.
finally i had someone to bitch about *insertnamehere* with
i mean like i just had to say her name, and he was ALL OVER IT. wow!
we headed to Taman Warisan first, meeting the Fan Crew
Shidy helped with the make up and hair while i was, well, trying to fit in
which in the end was successful (: im glad.
so we had the kids running up and down the stage to dance cuz there was a lot of performances that needed them to!
& they dance awesome i mean for kids like 10? yeah.
they had their energy &moves, slick.
& Sleeq was there too
and i cant believe Shidy knows everybody and everybody knows Shidy.
that boy is nutz for shit.
then we headed to the Bboy Championship down at The Heeren
all the dope boys &dope girls were there!
oh &of course *insertnamehere*
then i met Faddie (yay!)
& we walked around town finding Mr Tickles something (: haha.
chill &bitched&eat&took pictures
&went home suckas!

had a good time with Khai just now (:
though he made me wait for ages, boo.
i told him to go home since he's tired but nooooooo, he wanted to come
he couldnt study for shit, so we talked
&talked about the rest of the guys &dancing (he dances!)
&about artists, whether they're in the A list or totally not up to the game.
&yes, i do think he's matured too (:
no pictures but hey, there's always next time!

xoxo.

2009-06-17T21:55:00.010+08:00

AN OVERDOSE OF YOUR SWEETNESS.
my favourite boy!

THIS IS THE GUY WITH THE KNACK FOR CREATING BREATHTAKING MUSIC.
Ryan Leslie may not be the hottest guy, but there's just something about him that attracts me.
other than always being fashion forward,
his beats, his songs, his music, it's something that will make me move
you know, a little snapping of my fingers, nodding of my head &grooving to the beat.
i'm proud to say that he's on his way to becoming a very successful man in the entertainment industry!
with 2 nominations in the upcoming BET, he's getting more recognition (boy am i glad)
he has been standing in the shadows on Fabolous, Cassie, B5, JoJo &creating awe-inspiring songs for them
guess now is the time for him to shine like a true star actually should.
his passion for his craft let's me know that the sky is the limit
and if you really want them, your dreams are right there in front of you

R Les here, is a graduate of Harvard, yes girls, he's smart, he's talented, he's got everything. (HAH!)
i remember hearing his song Overdose for the first time from my 32 year old cousin, Wahyudi & i fell in love with it!
then i started downloading his other songs &songs he made for other artists
try listening to My Time (Fabolous feat. Jeremih), a song inspired by both the artistic minds of R Les &Keri Hilson
or Rescue You by the man R Les himself
or Sometimes by Cassie feat. R Les
i mean not everybody is into Hip Hop & RnB, but just give Ryan Leslie a try, you might just fall in love with his music
just like i did.

hope my man get's both the awards ( Best Male RnB Artist& Best New Artist ) at the BET Awards
all the best to you in your career R Les, may God bless you.

NEXT SELECTION.

this is a video of Ryan making the song Sometimes for Cassie. CHECK IT OUT!

Ryan Leslie is crazy and i love him! muah!

xoxo.

2009-06-14T21:49:00.010+08:00

start headin' em out.

have you ever sat down &think about what you should do to spice up your life? (not sex life eh woooo`)
i always have conjugal visits to the library, well maybe too many a times
too busy studying to even allow myself to take a breather or two
i guess humans always think about the present &we focus more on what we want to achieve
so much so that we often forget about how we should enjoy life
like, what if, we go for a 360 turn and just stop the clock from ticking
act randomly, like pat a police officer on his back and run away as fast as you can
or go skinny dipping at Sentosa, or just anything along that line
i wish somehow education &money didnt matter in life because with their existence, life's tough
like muhammad ali tough (k part ni melebih)
but seriously, i'm only sixteen but i feel like i've gone through a lot in life
&all the oldies would go, 'oh dear young one, you have yet to see the true meaning of life&the wonders it will bring'
like wow man, i dont want to die of heart attack at the age of thirty or be married without kids
i'm too scared to think about the future, okay i'll stop here.

i went out with le girlszxsxzsxz
too bad fadhilah &aisyah couldnt make it ):
PICTURES!

will you be my hunneh? (woooooo`)

tangkap glamour!

my pretty boy (:

love you guys, i sumpah k.

syahirah busuk ah, tak suke. boooooo. HEH!

SEBOK!

yay! that was a good break.
take care of yourself adik! miss you (:

izzie; says :
-hahahahahahahahahah
-nak pergi scouting for boys?
-hmmm, where would be a good place
-MACAM TKDE KEJE LAEN
-pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease
-hahahahahahaha

fabricated mayhem says :
-HAHAHAHAHA and guys would chat up with me coz of what?
-my small head too cute for my big self?
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

izzie; says :
-please lah head size dont matter
-tell them your grades and they'll fall for you lah please
-pretty faces are nothing without brains YO

fabricated mayhem says :
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA let me see them have an orgasm while
i try to teach them how to manipulate math eqns
instead of manipulate girls
-AHAHAHAHAHAHAH KIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK
-lol asl aku mlm mlm cam gini?!?!? :-O

(fuzzy hunneh please dont kill me for posting this, was too tempting! HEH.)

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
xoxo

2009-06-13T22:23:00.006+08:00

just beat it!

hooked on to playing GUITAR GEEK right after ngaji.
yah guess who i found playing the game too!
boo, cannot beat my high score :P

went to the library with fuzzyleen today
i missed her like i miss eating sushi!
it's been a long long time since we went out together, since June last year? hmm.
sneaked in a couple of McDonald's straws into the library to make (yes you guessed it) straw hearts! (:

fuzzy : eh kau ade stapler?
izzie : takde
fuzzy : nah, sorry i spoiled yours! (hands over a new stapler with red ribbon)
izzie : hahaha!

wooooah, that was totally unexpected buddeh, thanks for remembering that you spoiled it! HEH.
it was too damn freaking cold eventhough we wore jackets&hoodies&such
so we headed to chill at Mac, where, aku dah tk boleh belajar.
despite the heavy downpour (like yes! after days of humidity), we had ice cream
&yes, we are what you call, TEENAGERS. right faz? :)
upload pictures please hunneh!

i thought i was going to meet up with Shidy today but he had his crew meeting
so change our date to biler yer? heeeeeeeeeeeee~
i miss you like shit lah homeboy, quick quick quick i need a hug!
&i want you to teach me how to krump ;/ padehaaaaal chest pop pon belom master eh.

now i'm looking forward to.. maybe next Saturday? heheee`
i'm ending the post with a picture of the little but fat &lazy one that i turn to each time i get bored at home!

say hello to ADEK! (meeeeeeow.)

ok then bye.
xoxo

2009-06-12T19:17:00.006+08:00

this one's for you.

'I do not belong.'
so that's what you think huh?
you think people see you as an outcast?
you think you're invisible?
you think people dont try to make an effort to socialize with you?
well if that's the case, then i have been giving respect &looking up to the wrong person for 16 years
what a waste, what a waste.

look look, how about this?
what if you are the one who has been keeping to yourself?
you treat this 'miserable three room apartment' like a hotel
out in the morning, the minute you come back it's the computer till 5 in the morning.
like how the hell is she supposed to know who you really are
and how the hell are you supposed to know who she is if you dont make an effort to even after 18 years?
you think you're the only one that's right and people dont have a right to have interest in things you dont
you think your ideas should be accepted while theirs shouldnt because they are not to your liking

i didnt blame you when my grades were stupid
i didnt tell anyone to blame you
so is it me who doesnt listen to her or is it you
because you dont act like how someone in your position should act.
like a LEADER.
you dont even try to help out
even if you did, it wasn't sincere

OH COME ON.
dont give me the 'you dont belong' shit
you say you've never had a decent conversation with him your whole entire life?
well maybe you should try to, maybe you should stop growling at him each time you speak to him
maybe he imitates and tries to be like you because he looks up to you
you should be proud that he wants to be like you okay
how about reflecting upon yourself and what have you done to make your relationship with him any better?
as the elder one, you should be more sensible about all these

i guess that's the reason she tells me all her problems huh
because you are NOT SENSIBLE ENOUGH
and although im the second, i listen to her more than you do?

maybe not one of your relatives talk to you during the gatherings because you've never talked to them?
dont always expect people to come up to you and talk to you
sometimes in life you need to make the first move and not just wait
because that's what people do, they make a move
if you dont, and nobody else does, nothing revolves and nothing gets going
and stop blaming people if they hate your appearance
because as a muslim boy, you aren't suppossed to keep long hair
how's that for telling me what to do about religion?

you want people to notice you, then
make them aware of your very existence
dont blame cousins for having their own cliques because we put aside our differences when we hang out
you on the other hand think only you are dope and only people with the same ideology as you are worth your time
just chill, dont bark on someone if he has a different opinion from you
because well, everybody has different perspectives, not only YOU.

maybe if you just opened up a little
and put in effort,
maybe.
just maybe,
you wouldn't be drifting
and you would feel belonged, sucka.

thnks for making yesterday night a living hell.

2009-06-11T20:52:00.003+08:00

relive the golden years.

all the heart-warming experiences gained today would be soldered deep in my feisty heart
Aisyah
Farhana
Farhanah
Umairah
Syafiq
these people were definitely a bundle of joy, &every moment of the involvement was well, momentous?
before starting the whole thing, my armpits were sweaty &i smelled of liquor. k bedek.
but my nerves were being crushed &twisted thinking about whether these oldies would at least enjoy what we were gonna do.
so we started off with a tardy game of Bingo
good to know the oldies still know their numbers, especially the 'chainises' aye (probably from buying TOTO? ;D)
then we went all arty-farty by teaching them how to make straw hearts!
most of their wrinkly eyes were beaming with eagerness to learn, that made me feel glad glad glad.
the lucky draw after that was definitely something the oldies looked forward to as i got to knw
they have a mindset that people who come to Sunlove &organize some things have something to give them!
hmmm, oldies oldies, dying for free goods&tons of attention huh?
we did more straw hearts (yay!) to decorate Sunlove &the oldies were more than happy with what we did (;
well of course me being me, i dozed off while the rest were busy working their arses off. heeee`
typical, right?
house visits, were prostrating but 'twas all worth it
fana being miss China was meticulous, of course no doubt about that one!
the kitchen floor was cleaned &scrubbed&all that shit
a bit of salt water on the carpet with a whole lot of scrubbing
dusting off the fans & listening to what nenek Khadijah had to say
nek Jamilah was a bit of a joker i must say
her husband was cute! apparently he had too many legs that the doctor decided to cut off one.
haha! &he was babbling on&on about his ghostly encounters at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. eeee, so scary!
then my eyes were droopy&i had short periods of sleeping with my eyes opened
until fana minta diri for us to leave.

by that time, blood glucose concentration in our bodies = LOW.
banquet was our victim &it was too damn temtping to take extraextra straws to make straw hearts!
diyanah joined us a lil later & the library became a centre to bully umairah.
prettymuch wasted the second part of the day by reading Buatmu Kekasih
a book by Aisya Sofea, definitely worth reading but not at a time when you need to study Izzie!

tomorrow will be the library with fadhilah!
ok then bye.
xoxo.

2009-06-10T21:02:00.004+08:00

excuse me eh, the post with my cornrows was this morning at 3am
so this one's for today (:

argh shit, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.
now tell me, have you ever broken the girl code?
to all the bitches that did, go smack your small little head on broken glass!
if you dont even know what the girl codes are, lebih baik jadi jantan okeh?

it's insane how you have different songs for different guys &for the different rough patches you've been through
&there was one song by the egg-head guy with a soporific voice NE YO.
well i didnt have anyth scandalous with this boy but
if you know your friend's gotta crush on this dude, then he is a danger zone. NO NO my girls.
but then you find this girl who has been your so-called childhood friend digging on this dude
like what the freaking hell is going on homegirl?
i thought you were gonna help me out with this one but hey hey hey
i didnt know you would go the long distance and stab me in the back
and hold his hands and be with him like all day long foreva and eva and yada yada yada.
bitch.

and then everytime i listen to the song, my heart starts beating fast like im in some sort of race
&i think of all the things i saw and heard of & my mind starts playing games with me
why didnt i make the first move
why didnt i just talk to him and take a picture with him or ask him out or whatever shit.

boo.
just felt like screaming this all over my blog cuz it's been bugging me since foreva.

well after a lonely day at the library yesterday, today was all about friends
dumbdumb, you guys always get the crap out of me
i got all al-qaeda ish wearing the batik on my head going al-qadeda
and now someone is calling me SITI NUR AL QADEDA like im some kind of bomb-making menace
well, i have to do it for my brothers and sister of islam,
please lah dont crap here.

i'm going to do CIP at sunlove tomorrow with the gundus.
ok bye xoxo.

2009-06-10T02:06:00.007+08:00

suga suga how you get so fly
suga suga how you get so fly.

headed to the library alone as a result of humy having to attend her school's student council farewell.
occasionally, it's nice to go out &wander alone, without having to burst into loud laughters and
attention-seeking conversations like how you'd do if you were to go out with friends.
it would feel good when you meet people you knw in the library,
it's like you knw a lot of people and a lot of people knw you
and the fact that you're seating there studying gives an impression that you give a damn about life.
when i looked up, i saw a guy, with a red jacket and black capris
to top that off, he had dope kicks.
when he turned around, i realised i knew him
it was frizzay, no wonder the boy's got swagger!
he saw me looking and smiled (:

some other times when you're studying alone, you tend to look at yr hp &check for msges
&of course girls, check the guys out.
there was this particular guy that had got hold of my attention
cuz he looked like my cousin khairool + a bit of jay-hykel + a bit of anuar hadi
he was walking around, towards the comics section then he settled down at the cushioned seats
i try hard pretending not to look at him cuz i think he knows im watching
i try to figure out some bearings sums and suddenly i hear someone laugh
i turn and it's him, covering his mouth with his shoulders shaking violently
as a result of trying to stop his ridiculous laughter
he was watching something on his laptop and he made me turn my head a lot of times
cuz i got distracted each time he laughed
plus, he was cute, so i just had to look right? haha.
he caught me looking, so i look away.
bodoh.

the first thing majid asked me was whether i was checking out guys in the library
and well, i was honest enough to tell him that 5% of the time was for checking out guys. haha
his thought of being a gentleman was cut off, cuz i was already in the train heading home
he promised me ice cream at henderson waves after i watched a video compilation of ghosts around the world he dared me to!
now that, my friend, would be a first.
i mean, first time to henderson waves.
&a first date with him (:

2009-06-09T19:31:00.005+08:00

hello, they call me handsome girl.

here are the pictures from fana's birthday party.
it was really a lot of fun, laughing about
the one we had never seen before, beverly.
all of us were anticipating for her arrival with the cheesecake hazmie had baked.
&we were trying to find her
so any random person who passed by was beverly.
then it was trying hard to get that perfect jumpshot,
which didnt come. haha.
oh syafiq photoshoped fana's picture and pasted it on the pole near the bridge
fana and her made-up cca - MPCC
Member of Parliament Community Club.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

MPCC ALL THE WAY!

we were all waiting& waiting & waiting

OH LOOKY, THAT'S BEVERLY!

i miss shidy!
must must go out with him soon.

2009-06-03T00:58:00.002+08:00

oh-oh, someone likes my voice eh?
the lower pitch/tone/frequency!
boo lah Rif, boo.
while struggling through the Chemistry mock test just now,
i stumbled upon some organic chemistry questions & then
Rif popped up in my mind, like how super stressed i was about that topic
then nak give up &had Rif&his elder brother helping me out at night :)
so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

im missing my seniors!
i mean like being the seniors in the school is so, so, demanding?
can i go back to the days where we wrote secret love letters to that guy &played mujarab
&enjoy the days.
there's like what? 130 days to Os?
my God that's gonna be fast.
the way the school is pushing us to study, macam im missing out on friends.
i miss talking to Diyanah, yes anak A. Z. K.! haha.
wonder how she's doing now. hmmm.

klah, i better go study Biology.

xoxo!

2009-06-01T21:30:00.004+08:00

bonjour. (did i even spell that right?)

went to the library with faddie :)
are we ready for Bio, yes we are! boo.
hahahahha.
guess what i watched in the morning?
BARNEY AND KAWANS!
wohooooooo~

my momma found out about you.
my mom's cool about it,
just a little 'your O level is around the corner' thing.
stupid stupid you! boo lah.

i think i saw Phir-One at Causeway Point, he's cute! :)

there's school tomorrow till next week,
which eventually leads to a hectic schedule filled with study dates!
is this June holiday going to be a whole different one?
let's hope so :)

love yall.
xoxo.

2009-05-30T19:46:00.002+08:00

who?

im at faddie's crib.
we studied for the biology mock test & then guess what?
we tried singing a few songs!
so above is the recording of us singing Let Me Love You by Mario :)
think it turned out rather nice.

i hope faddie &i will succeed in the Os,
i mean i hope we work hard, continue to work hard!
&to my adik Siti Aisyah Bte Sahrol,
thanks for the P&C letter (which Umairah read &then told you! xD)
&also congrats on your great great great results! (:
&&&to Amyami&Scriptzxzxz, sorry i couldnt make it to Showcase 7 today!
promise aku datang for all the gigs after my Os kkkk?

XOXO

2009-05-24T18:18:00.005+08:00

thnks to achmad (with the silent c!)&faddie for posting about me.
honestly, i usually turn to both of you each time i feel like breaking down.
&my adik also (: love you guys loads <3

kudos to izza &hidayah for the awesome awesome drama!
&of course abg anwar tk pernah terlupe to say: Izyan kalau nak, mintak (:
HAHAHAHAHAHA, that guy is a bugger.
got to meet the guys Iqbal&Nizam.
ohmygod i miss Iqbal like miss miss miss him!
we need to go out &bitch about some people
with naz.
yes nuran nazurah, she's awesome to talk to.
&her bedroom, you just have to LOVELOVELOVE!
must meet her sooooooooooon& Iqbal *kening naik2 to the both of them!*
heheee~

~GAGA OVERLOAD~
i hate the way she's infesting my brain, seriously
i hate her hair
i hate the way she dresses
i hate her dance moves
basically i give her a big ZERO for her image
but i gotta give her props for her songs.
THEY ARE FARKING ADDICTIVE.
addictive to a point that it becomes irritating cuz you'll start thinking of
how stupidly she dances in her videos!
well, that's my opinion on GAGA.
she brings much laughter &joy to peoples' lives esp, Faddie's&mine. GAGAGA.
but please! can someone enlighten me on the meaning of POKER FACE?

apart from all the GAGAness,
someone has been a real pig.
siape lagi kan kalau not him.
the man who has been giving problems eversince a decade ago.
it makes me appreciate my friends cuz they make my days bright
cuz all i get at home is looking at my mother getting stressed over work &money.
when is this ever going to stop?
go get a fucking job & feed all your children lah, think what?
my mother is a bank is it?
fuck.
lain kali think before you ejaculate your sperms into your wife's vagina cuz you'll
need money to bring your children up,
which you obviously dont have enough.
argh, i wish i could just strangle you!

life's just being a big bitch right now.
&to anybody else contributing to it being a bitch,
fuck you.

2009-05-15T23:39:00.002+08:00

yes, i'm sure you guessed it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

seriously, this booshit is getting overrated but who cares, it still kicks butts!
Asquared programme was helluva fun, boo-ing the guys;
HANAFI&NABIL&MATIN.
i can't believe we practically laughed the whole 3 hours,
ah! i'm glad i went! :)

anyways, we had our LAST class photo-taking session
awwww, i cant believe i'm graduating from Secondary school in just a matter of months!
oh & one more thing.
FIRST A1 FOR HISTORY! wohoooo~
that makes it an A1 for Combined Humans.
yay yay, izzie!

XOXO.

2009-05-13T15:03:00.008+08:00

sorry faddie!, aku copy paste semue dari kaunye blog :)

we met in the evening &went to Marina Barrage.

it was the coolest coolshit ever. booo. like tht even means anything!

i had a lot of fun with them on Saturday

&we got to see the true true colours and FACES of everybody.
**** you lah Hazly, i know you're addicted to my prettyprettypretty pictures.

kankankan? *insert Jay's laughter!*
& Jay, happy eh ketawe kan my face.

bodoh, dahlah kene twick! boooo.

yay yay, faddie!

boo, muke aku merepek.

ah, it's been a couple of days, yet faddie&i cant stop talking about it.
everybody should have been there, seriously.
so yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

but NOT HAZLY, sebok kacau orang &showing MYPRETTYPICTURE to everybody.

boooooooooo Hazly, boo.

&& i've gotten back some of my results.

got a B3 for English (:

& BAND ONE FOR MY ORAL. wohoo~

budak mass com!

but then i failed Chemistry.

sedih kan?

RIF DI MANA KAMUUUUUUUUUUU?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhah

love yall, XOXO.

2009-05-10T20:09:00.002+08:00

i'm still at nadhir's house
i dont know if im sleeping here again.
I HAVENT STUDY FOR CHEMISTRY.
if my mom still decides on sleeping here, then i cant do History project!
hmmm, hope Sab doesnt blow again :/
im sorry SAB!

the wedding was awesomw by the way.
not really extravagant, but just fair i guess
mcm for family only.
&&& got to meet abang Haikal after the longest longest time
&Munzir also! huhu~
of course that outsider bitch was there also.
urgh.

hahahahahahahahahha.
someone said i look good in purple (:

XOXO.

2009-05-10T01:43:00.003+08:00

guess who's back, back again?
izzie's back, tell a friend! :)

that's a pic of the secondary 4 Gamelan girlzxzx, weehooo~
i totally love yall, sungguh.
so this week has been crayzayyyyyye
i mean with all the GAGA stuff
&a lot of laughing in class with Faddie
&with the new name i got
&all the what-nots!
papers for this week were olryt, except for History.
i looked like i just finished fighting a war after that paper
but fish, it's over.
&i got a distinction for Social Studies,
that's a good start i guess (:

so i'm blogging like at 1:49 in the morning.
i just got back from rewang-ing at Tampines,
my cousin's getting married tomorrow!
went to Bugis &bought a skirt.
i think Jay-Hykel will like this one! ;DD
huhu~
&had a lot of fun crapping with my cousins &my cousin's boyf!
argh i just love my family.
i'm at Nadhir's house, but he's out torning with the guys at Tamp.
cant wait for tomorrow

XOXO.

2009-05-03T18:33:00.004+08:00

ni duer budak, you'll always find BULLCRAPPING during free periods!

today was kinda boring.
wow
boring is an overrated word, don't you think?
us Singaporeans, especially students,
tend to be going through the fucking old routines over &over.
dont you get that often?

but mengumpating about Jumady with Uztad Saiful was fun!
Jumady is another uztad,
who apparently did some appalling things
that i wouldnt want to mention.
one word: ewwwwwwwwwwwwww
okay that's not exactly a word, whatever.

common test starts tomorrow.
insya-Allah, everything will turn out good.
with the efforts i put in studying for certain subjects,
i hope to improve much.

okay this is random,
but when i was in 966 alone with my braids on,
or rather doing my braids all by myself,
some mats got on the bus and sat alongside me at the back of the bus.
they were talking about some stupid nonsensical and irritating stuff
to the point that i ZIKIR-ED in the bus!
what the hell seriously.
me & zikir dont usually appear in the same sentence.
i think i'm an improved hamba Allah.
cheyyyyyyy.
like what syahirah always say, taubat izyan, taubat (:

XOXO

2009-05-02T21:11:00.002+08:00

i just love taking pictures.
dont you?
here's the second half of the day.
the point of taking that picture was to show that i did threads.
hahahahaha, tapi like tak menjadi right.

so after eating lunch,
my datin-like auntie took my mom, dyna and i out.
to get some rempeyek and then go makan-makan at Kampong Jawa.
hahaha, macam tk cukop-cukop makan eh.
actually wanted to meet cik ida, at her workplace but she left already ):
now we're back at nadhir's crib.
we're making CHICKEN PITAS!
weehooooooo~
&i teased bibik while cutting&dicing tomatoes and cucumbers!
hahahahahahhahahaha
i cant believe i've known bibik for like 13 years.
damn thats long.
she's like so damn short lah.
i still remember being of the same height as her.
now im like superduper tall as compared to her!
cheh, macam paham eh.
blearghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
ohwells, time passes by fast doesnt it?

nadhir come home quick laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! (:

hope to hear from you people.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO.

2009-05-02T13:25:00.001+08:00

SOME HOTSTUFF IS ALL THAT I NEED.

it's only the first half of the day and i'm already having so much fun.
just got back from pasar Geylang with my auntie yang macam datin tu
&also nadhir and kak nina.
my goodness nadhir eats like he has not eaten for the longest time!
we shared like a plate of briyani ayam & also mi goreng
and he still was fucking hungry.
hahahahahahahhahahahahha
i dont know why but i really had a lot of fun
really really, i mean, who doesnt have fun with me around kan?
hahaha, chey.
&then when we went to shop at the supermarket,
macam tempat playground plak.
imagine ah two teenagers dengan trolley
then on top of that trolley, ade basket.
and after paying for one round, we went for another round.
ratusan dollar abes gitu aje seh seriously.
the back half of the Toyota Wish was filled with groceries.
and we also bought telur penyu!
ohmygod it's been years since we all ate those!
it's so hingus-y, hehe~

but now my future husband *yang gamba kat bawah tu*
is outtttttt ):
who am i supposed to crap with?
BULLSHIT.
hahahahhahahah.
i think im going to do nothing
and wait kat atas until bibik and maktua finish cooking
then turon and eat.
hehehehehe, pemalas eh tk tolong.
blearghhhhhhhhh.

XOXOXOXOXO.

2009-05-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

it's officially official.

crapzxzxzxzxzxz!
that's just my favourite cousin, nadhir.
nadhir nadhir nadhir, get a girl man.
hahahahhahahahahha.
i miss him like hell and i just got to meet him today after the longest time!

but before that i went out with Jay and the gang.
basically khai, hazly, this indian dude, molly, this dude in yellow and his gf.
i didn't get to do some things i wanted when i was with Jay
(jangan fikir bukan-bukan!)
&then i got sad because of something i overheard but
i'll keep this one on the low.
i'll give it some time.

babygirl, forget about him *ehem ehem*
or whoever lah eh.
&&&dont do anything nonsensical
things that you know would make me unhappy.
okayokayokayokayokay
jangan sampai muke aunty ice kacang menjelma.
wahahahahahahha.
loveyou!

2009-04-26T14:47:00.000+08:00

i've done touch on everything but little boys!

everything in life is going fine except for one factor.
please don't do this, you're affecting me.

2009-04-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

could this shit be for real
coz it seems so surreal
the way you got me feeling
i go crazy just sittin' & wonderin'
what it would feel like to be next to you
boy i aint got a clue

till one day we chilled
the seats in the cinema we filled
awkward but that's the way it goes
nervous i hope it doesnt show
the way we talked like we've known each other
that made me feel a lil bit more than just better

the way it went as smooth as ice
you aint like them other guys
you got me thinking &hoping to meet you
oh boy, how is it that you do that thing you do?

cuz when we met again today
from esplanade to boat quay
i felt like bringing down the clouds
&whispering to the Sun
how you got my heart thumping
when we were just chillaxing

there's this thing about you
that captures my attention
with swagger you talk
with stlye you walk
the eyes that sinks deep in my heart
the way you laugh, oh where do i start.

you got me feeling crazzaye
mister uztad haji Jayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! ;DDD

2009-04-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

you got my feelings in an uproar!

i miss talking to ya.
recalling the first date,
which was awkwardly awesome.

talking to you on the phone,
i just cant help but wait
till the next time we'll meet.
i wonder when, i wonder what will happen.

i really wanna get to know you,
you got me curious about you.
mister __________.

2009-04-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

IT WENT AS SMOOTH AS ICE.

2009-04-06T11:22:00.000+08:00

WENT OUT WITH AMY&FAIZ YTD.

met amy first! & then faiz joined us, which i didnt know he was gonna.

if yall dont know, amy = ahmad zulhilmi who claims he has been surfing for 4 years

i dont know whether to believe him or not, but i think i do.

hahahahahahah.

&faiz = i dont know his full name but he used to go to the same madrasah as i did.

so both of them are into surfing & amy tak abis2 wanna kutok me for liking hip-hop!

hmph.

i had lots of fun though &they talked me into not studying

and becoming zombies like most Singaporeans.

and they started talking about their ghostly encounters

mcm banyak giler!

& then i got takot &then i had to ask someone to do me a favour, kan? (:

hahahahahaahhahaha.

AKU NAK IKOT KORANG GI OUTING PLEAAAAAAAAAASE!

2009-04-01T21:50:00.001+08:00

MAKCIK ENGKAU PUNYE BAPAK POTEK!

& that's how you remember your Organic Chemistry.

Meth

Eth

Prop

But

Pent

amazing? thankiok! (:

i'm excited about my life right now,

partly bacause we're hanging out more often with the SA dudes

hunks/jocks/whatever you call them.

but omg is this really true?

i can't believe it, i still can't.

guess we'll have to wait until next thursday to find out what happens aye? ;)

&i'm also scared to death right now,

knowing that my English Oral Exams for Prelims is on 17 APRIL

like how near is that, bitch?

and i'm still getting B3 for Bio when i'm supposed to get A1.

Prelims is just 21 weeks away goddammit.

i hope chemistry doesn't fail me, cuz i'm starting to have some faith in it.

AZLAN, that name bawaks berkat!

chem test on organic chem tomorrow, i hope i do well.

B3 or ABOVE EH IZZIE!

oh & yah, we got 3rd for Dekla Sajak.

IN YOUR FACE CEDAR.

& KHAIROOL.

2009-03-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

here are snippets of the long-awaited Bali pictures!
i can't express how much fun i had in Bali.
IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME.
keep a look out for more pictures on my friendster page (:

sledet attempt, successful (:

traditional Balinese costume.

trying out batik painting!

making some canangs

PUSPAN JALI PRACTICE!

performance at SMA Negeri 8 Denpasar

2009-03-29T20:55:00.000+08:00

Listen, today makes it a year
Don't you think it's time that you made it clear
You gotta get on your biz
Tell me what it ain't or what it is
I can handle it
I've had it up to here
I don't wanna pressure you dear
I've sent back-to-back dudes
Away from my door
Thinking I was looking for
Not anymore

I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
Of being your unofficial girl
And I'm tired
I'm tired of trying
I'm still your unofficial girl
You gotta love me in the light and the dark
You gotta give me, give me
All of your heart
I wanna be your official girl
Said I wanna wanna wanna be your
Official girl
I wanna be your official girl

If you keep this up
There's bound to be a mess
I ain't really like duress
Put to the test
I could surely pass
You better do the math
I'm so stylish
So bossy
It'd be ashamed to say you lost me
But if you want that
It's a wrap
And I won't look back

I miss you girl
I miss you girl
I'ma make you my official girl
You better act right
I'm two seconds from being out the door
I miss you girl
I miss you girl
I'ma make you my official girl
Said I won't be with you
Unofficially anymore
And I can't make you choose
Long as you're cool on knowing
You're bout to blow a good thing
And I ain't making ultimatums
I'ma tell you this verbatim

I'm tired
I'm tired
I'm tired
Of being your unofficial girl
And I'm tired
I'm tired of trying
I'm still your unofficial girl
You gotta love me in the light and the dark
You gotta give me, give me
All of your heart
I wanna be your official girl
Said I wanna wanna wanna be your
Official girl

2009-03-20T22:50:00.000+08:00

hey i'm back in SG!
but now i'm eloping with this dude
getting married in Indonesia!

okay i'm just joking!
i took that picture in Indonesia though, but not bali.
&that dude is my, MY NADHIR!
who happens to be attached, hmph.

BALI was totally awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i want pictures.
CIKGU MUSLIM WHERE YA AT?

2009-03-12T21:32:00.000+08:00

lolok dangdut.
i dont know why you call yourself that
abang, i miss you.
the hottest of all cousins
but what happened to you?
haven't seen ya eversince forever.
just found you on tagged and i dont think you recognize me.
THAT'S SADDENING YA KNOW?
seriously abang, hope to meet you this year!

i went out with bug eyes today.
weehooo, much fun (:
finally took some decent pictures together at adm park

okay maybe not so decent.

but what the heck.
i'll miss ya, i'll miss ya.
see ya when i get hooooooooooooooooome

from BALI!
look out for me 19 March 2009 aite?

2009-03-05T22:59:00.001+08:00

life can change your directions
even when you ain't planned it
all you can do is handle it
the worst thing you can do is panic
use it to your advantage
avoid insanity manage to conquer
every obstacle
make impossible possible
even when winning's illogical
losing's still far from optional.

2009-03-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

life is not always what you expect it to be
neither is other people's.

i read izza's blog and in one of her posts,
she wrote that change in the only constant in life.
that is, sadly, the truth.

the people you care for will change.
sometimes for the better,
but usually for the worse.
you can feel like giving up in life
when people you care for don't seem to care for you
when you're the only one who's trying hard to make life as meaningful as possible
but what's the use of giving up
when you will, in the end, be feeling far worse than you already do?
you might as well strive for the best,
do it for yourself,
or rather your mother.
get out of that lousy life.
the one that is making you feel miserable.
reach out for a brighter &happy future.
the one that you deserve.
remember, Allah is always with you.
keep on praying, Insya Allah, things will get better.

hey, you know i'm always here if you need someone to count on.
i've never closed the gate.
just walk in whenever you feel like it.
i'll be here &i'll pray for you (:
no worries aiiiiiiite?

how depressing can it get when after all the effort you put in,
you still fail Math by one&a half marks?
tell me.
but i'm happy mista bug eyes is doing well for chemistry (:
weeeeehooo!

2009-03-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

facin' all kind of time
but smile like i'm fine
brag with such passion
and shine without tryin'

believe me pain's a small thing to a giant
i was born without a dime
out the gutter i climb
spoke my mind
and didn't stutter one time
Ali say even the greatest gotta suffer some time

i'm in love with the guy who rapped this.
yes you spit the sickest lines TIP!
love you to death.

anyways, i haven't been sharing much about my life
most prolly cuz there's nothing much you ought to know
im happy that im improving in my studies,
one step at time, there's no need to rush.
okay maybe there is a need cuz the Os are just like a few months away.
i'm aiming to get into NP's MASS COM.
it's prolly hard to get in but hey, doesn't hurt to try.
guess i have to do something about my English
I NEED AN A for English goddammit.
English = B4
phuck.

Combined Humanities doing fairly well
SS = B4
Hist = B3

Spoken like a true Sasterawan,
Sastera = A1

Thought I could score this one.
Bio = B4

The subject I managed to clear after years of failing;
Chem = B3

i'm hoping i can say the same for Math but
i dont think i can do it.
&i'm not even hoping on getting back my HMT paper.
as if he's gonna give it back.
phuck.

come on Izyan Liana you can spank the Os.

but the Os are only a few months away,
now i'm scared to death.
yeah, you can laugh at this one faddie (:
haha!

ohya &i somewhat saw achmad today in school.
doing it for NCC, hahahahahahahhaha.
lame shit lah you, haha.
k dont take that to heart.
i didnt expect you to call me and tell me to wave at you!
kk nvm, next time when it's not raining,
you can join aisyah&i& we can eat ice cream together k? (:

i'll let Allah deal with the rest of the things in my life.

2009-02-26T17:38:00.000+08:00

no matter how hard i try to lie, i can't.

2009-02-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna lay it down like this
i'm not frontin' neither am i trippin'
at this moment of measure
i've got a lotta cards on ma table
see there's;
King
Jack
Spade
Hearts
Diamonds

i'mma have to choose one but
i want 'em all like toppings on ma ice cream
cuz somehow i'm not sure
is this fo real or is it a dream?
cuz i never had so many dices
so which one should i roll?
;numero uno
;shagged
;top spot
;weirdo
;ex-con

the truth of the matter
is i don't understand this weather
what 'dyall see in me?
must be my extraordinary swag
must be that yall checked my fresh
i fly so high, so dope, so def
zig-zig-zag you've all been captured
so,
let me end this transmission
without making any decision
make sure one stands out of the rest
cuz i only choose the best.
knuhimsayin? aha!

2009-02-11T20:49:00.000+08:00

WOAHLAH!

well i still haven't gotten the pichas of my birthday
so i thought i'd post about the ECP outing me&sab had
with three guys from SASS.
well, the plan wasn't actually happening the way we thought it would
only three guys came from the twelve
and these guys were late.
i joined sab at her family's chalet to find that
one of her cousins was hot on fire!

as you can see from my rather stupid-over excited-looking face,
i was having a nervous breakdown
damn it just look at his body!
then we went off to my family's picnic at ECP

taken at sab's chalet.

i must say it was awkward but fun
played soccer and cycled with them
from left to right : hazly, khai, firdaus
*one of them has a crush on me, chey!

and of course izzie never fails to have some 'shiok sendiri' moments!
and sab, your pants are still wimme.
haha.

i love this picture the most.
i mean, how close we have gotten just shows.
sab, you should let me meet more of your cousins eh!
waaaaaahahahahhaa.

HOLLA AT YOUR GIRL.

2009-02-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

i turned sixteen yesterday.

thanks to:
fuzzy wuzzy
rif firdaus rif
khairool haque
bdk b cube
sabrina
saidun
nadhir
diyanah
scriptz
y-hum
swathi
annurnizam
shahiran
kalzom
amy (zul)
amira
luqman hakiim
papa
iqqyballs
amirul
jauhari (:

for all your birthday sms-es!
my pp8 got burnttttttt so yeah that's why i didn't reply.

i'm in no mood to post about what happened yesterday.
and about how much fun i had getting busted.
i want the pictures, sab can you please upload it already?

2009-02-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

don't you know i got a key by the three
when i chirp shawty chirp back
Louis nap sack
where i holdin' all the work at
what you know about that?

i had a blast at the briefing for Deklamasi Sajak
apparently Khai DID NOT WANT TO GO.
what the fark khai, seriously.
but whatever, there was Taufik&Fir&Izzat&Daniel :)
Izzat is so cute, i wanna pinch his cheeks again
he looks like Izz seriously except that he's shorter, cuter& chubbier!
saudara Haekal's Malay was berkecah but whatthehell
and i expected more games, boo.

and someone seems to be igniting hatred
you got us feeling mad so i wrote you a lil' something

you got name & you got fame
but aye, you don't even got an ounce of respect
face it, that's the fact
since you got that title you went a little berserk
at first i thought you were all that
but every of your actions made me change my mindset
claimin' weekends are for family time
ya think i got time for mine
after all the shit you got us doing?
you better be thankful
cuz we saving you
saving your face
saving your honour
and saving your name
i don't know why we still do it
but i think it's gonna change

and don't come telling me i should not think bad of others
cuz you deserve our cold shoulders
you are one creep who makes people do your farking work
for your own benefit.
fuck you& your motherfucking title.

2009-02-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

okay this is the post for the kind-of-basi last Sunday's study-with-humairah session.

it was crazyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i mean like, obviously, it's Y-HUM
who's the over high budak 24/7
JUST LOOK AT HER

okay actually i did the hair for her.

and my mars attack face

and we started talking about; POLY OR JC.
and about this and that, i can't remember actually.
but i would love to go to the library with Y-HUM again! :)
GOOD LUCK WITH 20-THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

2009-02-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

i don't know how i did it, but i survived the first hour of tuition dozing off.
i was doing mole calculation and somehow while doing the working,
i was scribbling the numbers. i have no idea if katherine saw me dozing away her precious time.

school has been a bit of a hurricane for me especially the homework part.
i'm terribly bad at organizing, sumpah.
i'm updating my blog cuz someone told me to update it for him.
are you happy now, ___________? :)
i've been waiting for 7 february 2009 since last week, &now, it's tmr.
i'll get to see the the SASS boys after some time.
hopefully, ___-_____ too :)

yall know about my crush on the bboy _________, right?
well, i've successfully written a few lines about him,
but yet to finish it, so here it goes.

listening to neyo sing mad all day
brings me back to the day that i wore the colour grey
you popped, locked, breaked on stage so great
i kept telling myself this is fate, this is fate
the way that you danced, you sent my mind ablaze
it ain't a lie boy, you caught me in a daze.

how'd i dooooooooo? ahah!
shidy my dopeboy asked me if i wanna do a track with him
i seriously need to meet up with him cuz i miss him.
yes aku miss kau CRAZEE DEE!
okay kau jgn happy sangat eh.

for all of yall who know what's going down on 9 Feb,
yall know what to do right? ahah!

HOLLA.

2009-01-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

i've been reminiscing about 2008 and what a great year it had been.
apart from being in 4 different relationships!, i've made very very good friends.
and i've been closer to my relatives on my maternal side.
and also i have been traveling and widening my knowledge about other cultures.

firstly, it's the cintas

i never thought the nine of us, out of all the other people in the whole wide world would
get close to one another after only a year or even lesser of knowing each other.
the shit we have been through together, the way each of us help one another
when one is in a difficult situation, it just lead us to being closer and the feeling of
having friends you know you can count on is really very great.

and aisyah

the adik i never thought i never had. it's funny how we never really talk to each other
or get close when we were classmates during our sec 1 and sec 2 days. now that
we have gotten much closer, we found out that we have a lot of things in common.
seriously, a lot. it's somehow freaky how both of us had done the same things
when we were younger, like always buying the Japanese pancake at NUH when
we were kids. i wonder if we had actually bumped into each other before.
then it would have been so cute. i'm glad i am closer to her now cuz she's a good friend
and the best adik i can ever ask for! (:

then it's the cousins

crazy crazy cousins. not that i don't know them well, it's just that we had more
chances of being together for 8 days and we basically found out more about each other.
oh you know how cousins are when we start digging secrets and stuff, haha.
traveling with cousins is fun, really really. wonder where we're going this year!

and then it's Purbalingga

the second picture is aisyah and me together with our adik angkat Mayes.
i miss her a lot! it was great living with our family angkat and stuff.
it's all good and we got to try a lot of Indonesian food! the third picture is
all of us who joined class IX A. the class was taking a test so we sat outside the classroom
singing and stuff, can't believe it was a month ago man. the last pic is me with the two Amiruls
in the Indonesian classroom. cool shit.

2008 has definitely been a great year for me.
but i bet this year is going to be better
or so i hope it will!

2009-01-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

i was changing the template and my tagboard got fucked up.
i'll put up a new one soon.

2009-01-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

shit i have a crush on ___________________.

seriously, the song Mad by Ne Yo is a killer.
damn you, __________.
i shouldn't have watched you dance the other day!
but you were good bboy, you were tight.
i really have to go to another dance event and take a picture with you
i know it's stupid lah, he doesn't even know me
i hope he doesn't somehow blog-hop to my blog to find his picture blurred!

i went to the library with Shidy on Sunday
damn, that boy has got dope shoes.
both of us made a perjanjian
9 February 2010 and 18 may 2010!
you have to remember, brother!
i went to the Supra website to check out all the dope kicks they got;

shidy actually owns a pair of these babies!!!

damn i would look good in these.

shidy, kalau kau bace blog aku, aku nak ni for 9 February 2010 eh!
TUF BLACK VAIDER, AISEYMAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

2009-01-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

Blog song : I'm still fly - Shigga Shay
he's a chinese dude, and i'm digging his singles!

2009-01-13T17:30:00.000+08:00

fuck yall haterzxzxzx!
i got ma A1!
one down, 4 more A1s to go.
yeah yeah, i was so damn freaking happy mayn.
then ms aza, aisyah, syahirah, suhaina, fazleen and i,
WE WENT TO THE ANIMAL CLINIC!
okay i know i gave the cat a bimbotic name 'cutie'
but then it became fiah/adila?!?!
thanks to suhaina, haha.
seriously, us muslims need a HALALIZED VET.
the vet on duty was Dr. Megumi Kodera from Japan, now is that sick or what.
here are the pics;

aisyah trying out her P.I. skills

before all that, in front of The Animal Clinic

Dr. Megumi Kodera

Su with cutie/fiah/adila!

after we gave her a bath, cute kan? macam baby (:

2009-01-11T14:56:00.000+08:00

aisyah, saberok and i went to the RP openhouse ytd
and we watched the hip hop dance comp.
FREEKZY NUTZ WAS SO DAMN AWESOME!
congrats on winning and also congrats to FIS on placing second.

an attempt to walk like Vougalicious

and i just found out that aisyah camwhores!

i met kak nina, abg nadhir and abg fir there
then we went fto Maktua's birthday celebration
i dont know how old my grandmomma is
she's most prolly 70 plus
and dinner was with nadhir's fam,
my fam and luqman's fam,
the same bunch of gundus who went to Indon.
welcome to the crazy family

after one whole day

smiling and acting pretty in pictures are boring

how much alike we are

just look at baby, she's so cute!

ohyah! that's maktua for you.

don't ask me why we call her MAKTUA
cuz then i'll have to open Mak Bedah's history book
yeah and after all that, Nadhir decided to sleepover
and when we arrived home,
my momma told abg and nadhir to carry down our old computer table
then after like 5 minutes, nadhir called
he told my momma a cat fell
hearing that, i thought it was just a normal fall
so i went down to check it out
it was already nearing midnight
the cat was groaning cuz from what i was told,
it fell from the fourth floor
we had no idea if it was the work of someone
or it decided to jump down
i think it's more of the first one.
it was moaning and it was pissing at the same time
it was so damn kesian lah
kaki dier sebelah mcm dah patah
and in an attempt to walk, it fell to the floor
it was so damn pitiful really
kau imagine uh kalau kau yang terjatoh dari fourth floor cmne
masyaAllah, i was like tearing already
we didnt knw what the heck to do cuz SPCA was closed
so after like a long time, we decided to take it home
and kept it in a drawer in our toilet

it was prolly hurting, the front right foot.

my momma already called SPCA but there's no doctor in today
we'll most prolly bring it there tommorow
hope yall reading this will pray for its best
AMIN.

we thought manja would help the pitiful cat but
she ended up hissing at it, apa dah manja!

2009-01-08T19:01:00.000+08:00

firstly, it's over&done with.
secondly, you old faggot, stop getting on my nerves.
school's been exhausting, everybody's been complaining about the stairs.
haha wth, i have a baglock of homework still not done. sheesh.
i end up sleeping at 10 and not waking up again until 6, like ZOMG.
i think i'm developing an interest in emath again, let's hope it doesn't fail me again,

ohya and someone smsed me yesterday:
Hey girl :) I'm getting my results anyday now so, leaving bpghs.
Take care of yourself k.
Study hard, & make your parents proud.
I'm always here if u wanna talk.

so sweet kan? well that's Achmad Firdaus Bin Abdul Kalam for you.

I can't be more apprecitive of my seniors than i already am.
especially last year's sec 4s.
you people are like so damn nice lah,
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Fi, thanks for being there for me&my math (:
and what makes me feel comfortable with you right, is actually because;
you look like my elder brother when he was 12 years old and plump.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, jangan kecik hati okay? (:
you're sebijik like him lah really.
and i've got a confession to make;
i seriously felt disgusted when you told me to look at the auntie
who wasn't wearing bra. like OMG lah you horny bastard.
hahahahahaha, damn those were the days.

okaylah, to those taking their results on 12 january, GOOD LUCK!
all the best yeah?
and fi, don't forget to come and look for me and tell me your results! (:
and you, i'm sad things had to end this way, good luck with life, i wish you all the best.

2009-01-04T17:00:00.000+08:00

if you have noticed, i've changed my blog song.
and of course, it's Long Time Comin' by FeeKee D' feat Supreme One
if you guys didn't know, FeeKee D' is SG's one and only BOBBLEHEAD.
seriously, his afro hairdo is so cute.
so yeah, i like this song, and it's local.
FeeKee D' is one of those local talents on Live n Loaded
so if you like my blog song and wanna support Feekee D',
go to http://livenloaded.mediacorptv.sg/ and vote for him
but before you do that, you gotta sign up first.
you can vote 10 times a day.
other than FeeKee D', there are the rest of the guys;

Da Unknown Artiste (DUA)
Dinneezel
ShiGGa Shay
Kay Swisha
Chaz Ali
Jab MacCardy
Fatalitee Phlow

yeah, so vote for them if you wanna see them on TV.
as K. Starr says: *gogo lokalz* yeah yeah.

2009-01-04T16:27:00.000+08:00

just finished uploading the pics of the countdown
damn that was a whole lot of the last day of 2008!

okay, it has been a while.
so 31122008,
i talked to shahiran shah! otp for 2 hours and slept at 4am.
and woke up at 7.30am.
had a fun time at LJS with most of Nirm Norms
but it was really not fun when they laughed at my scar thingy
hmm, tkpe aku dah maafkan korang k (: HAHAHAHAHA
then it was all getting ready for the performance.
the whole day was so damn gerek.
i mean, the Dynamic Duo performed at Boon Lay also
so yeah, it was dope.

to Nirm Norms : i'm so happy to be a part of us.
imean, just look at our performance.
it was like totally awesome lah.
and Niz and Iqqy, thanks for being two great guys
really, it has been a blast, all the time spent witchu guys! (:

back from countdown, Cikgu saz sent us home,
and i just had to tertinggalkan my hp in his car! hmph.
and i spotted a cat outside my house and decided to take it in at 4am.
yeah, so now, it's my cat (: yay yay.

school is okay i guess.
and omg, today was the first day of madrasah.
and it's Ust Saiful and Uzt Akhmar again.
Ust Saiful, BORINGGGGGGGG.
hahaha, but wth, i still love the friends there! (:

2009-01-04T14:57:00.000+08:00

glowing pussy faces!

faddie stop talking lah! HAHA.

alamak ni due abg joget jugak? gerek pe (:

Nirm Norms full form plus Miss Aza!

moley moley!

2008-12-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

i skated, fell and this happened.

i know it looks bad, tell me about it
it's like this mould on my face
so what happened was this, i haven't been skating for a while now
and i started with a little paddling as usual to get the hang of it
i'm still a learner, haha
then i tried manual, and canonball, i still can't do ollie for shit
then when i wanted to try switch foot while skating, i fell to the front
luckily i was skating under the void deck
if i was skating on the road, it would have been a hell lot worse
yeah, it still looks horrible anyway
it looks more horrible if you see it LIVE
it's like you just have to stare at it, serious
stupid loser.

so what i did today was;
went to the library alone
then aisyah came after a few hours
by then my attention span was O-V-E-R
hahaha, i know
then i went home,
and played PS
it's been a long time comnig, hahaha
so i started with 3 Extreme, or was it Extreme 3?

yeah i own, first place!
my tv is turning pink anyway as you can see.

and of course my all time favourite

no.1 dancer as always on Dance Dance Revolution!

and i like this number, LITTLE BITCH!

YESSSAAAAA dapat S = SUPER!

and after that i took some pics with the Adio Wray kicks.
and that's all.

good bye.

2008-12-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

so much for being into hip hop,
i checked out Singapore's very own Ska band The Sallys
just for you, tau tau tau?
i guess it's not that bad
and i already changed my blog song to Lady Marmalade
i think it's nice, it's very soothing,
i dont know
it's like it gives you a relaxing vibe when you listen to it
i didnt do anything much today
just trying to do hwk
helping out my lil bro with his math hwk
and tying braids all day
thin tiny little braids
and im going to the library like that tmr
it's cool, i mean my hair just stays stiff like that after i tie it
no need for rubber bands whatsoever

thanks for calling pakcik (:
that was a relief.

2008-12-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

we watched YES MAN today after tarian
cant write much write now cuz my bro wants to use the comp
ayie, if you're back, can you give me a call asap?
cuz i'm really worried
i woke up at 4.37am and couldn't sleep back just now morning
i hope nothing bad happened that day, love you.

2008-12-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

freaked out, weren't ya?

ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
that's how white i looked like
seriously the whole Indonesian wedding experience was unforgettable
and i like this picture the most
i just got it from kak nana

it's the irri-est yet prettiest picture of the whole trip
and of course kak nana and i just had to be the ones in the picture!
the colour of our costume was just so awesome,
the way it contrasted each other

so today i did hwk with fana and saf
like come on man,
we only did a bit of work
dahlah makan chicken wings and minum teh
dah jadi mcm picnic bwh blok
hahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha
whatever it is,
i can't wait for tomorrow
cuz there's tarian and i can only imagine
how tomorrow is gonna be like

and so pakcik's court is today
he hasn't called,
i wonder how it was
where is he
how's he doing
awwww, please call me as soon as you get back
i'll be waiting

you know i love you back.

2008-12-25T21:00:00.000+08:00

you can never get friends better than these

that's fana, faddie, me, saffie, sabbeh and fuzzy
there are a couple more that's not in the picture though
kiter jiwer point blank period
now i really know what it feels like to have friends
who stick up for me
this is what having real friends feel like

unlike some other people who are actually in a clique
who call each other 'friends'
but bitch about each other behind each other's backs
friends dont bitch about each other
they bitch together about other people
that's mean, but who cares
as if you never do it

i love you guys, cintas.

2008-12-23T20:15:00.000+08:00

this one's for the one who lied (you love pink dont you)

imma diss you for the second time
you better read this good
you better listen to my rhymes

i think you never learn from lessons, you still lyin'
i'm being a nice friend, that's why i'm sayin'
ain't gotta say it, you know your own name, i'm referin' to you
i'm gonna give it to you straight, i don't need no metaphor
i can't believe this, i fell for your lame shit lies
i guess what i can say is, i was blind back then
blind to your play, blind to your act
blind to you being a MOFO LIAR

you laughed when i was rainin
let's see who cries when i see you in the future
wait a minute, do you even got a future?
not so sorry if i'm hurting your soul
cuz i'm hurtin' people's feelings everytime i spit

you makin' up stories, you ain't got a life
who's the real you?
why you disturbin' me and my life?
oh, i forgot, you dont got a life
what a shame to this world to have a human like you
livin' on this planet, cuz you're a sick creepin' hypocrite

what kinda friend are you?
a) liar
b) messed up
c) not trustworthy
all of the above, HAH! that's what you are
i know you're a fake friend, it ain't a mistake
you can stunt all you wanna stunt
but aye, listen to this
only i know deep down inside, who you are

1) insecured
2) K.K.S.
3) you say all the lies
4) you never speak the truth
5) as cunning as a fox
6) backstabber
7) you can never be trusted
and the list goes on

i ain't talkin' about faddie, she's my girlfie
i ain't talkin' about aisyah, she's my sister
i ain't talkin' about sabrina, she's my saviour
and i ain't talkin' about suhaina, she's my cinta

i know the truth hurts but
better now than never right?
i'm gonna say this again,
i can't believe i fell
for that face, for that cry
for that story, for that lie
once fooled, never again
i'll not be a dummy and im never gonna be one, no no

revenge is best served as a cold dish
and you, as a liar, are sure to get served better
but i don't do revenge, i leave it to THE ONE AND ONLY
HE will know what's best, what will be of you
you can hate me all you want, i dont give a damn
but i'm nice enough to show you the exit once politely
e.g. 'if you're a hater,leave.' stole that from me?
diss me back, i don't got a prollem with that
girl you better fall back, go grab a ball bat
hit that to your skull, and it'll be the end of all that

i know i'm influential, so suck that up
don't go all in shock if everybody's gonna hate on you
cuz you're a fuckin' big fat liar
now, who's gonna listen to you?

oh you can still be my friend, yes
but it'll not be the same
remember these words, nigga.

2008-12-22T14:58:00.000+08:00

AYE YO I'M BACK IN SG!

okay my face is so damn ugly in that pic
that's my lil bro right there
at Mas Bagus Koko (insert last name here)'s wedding in Pati
so we became the so-called bridesmaids and best men
but there they call it Puteri Domas and Monggolo
we took off from the hotel at 8 plus and were sent to Bibik Sureni's house so that we could be
made-up by the people there
you can never imagine how much foundation and powder i wore
my face was so damn putih
and the sasak-ing of the hair was so damn painful
and it's weird to let people dress you when you only have your bra and underwear on,
trust me.

here are some other pics
i didnt get the pics when we had the kebaya on cuz my cam batt went dead, schmitzsxzsx!

that's kak nana, me and kak nina

presentin', me.

with the pengantin and Bibik Sureni.

and that's me with hani, hakim and my lil bro.

and we checked in at HOTEL IBIS!
daymn that hotel is the shit i shared a room with the IRRI-est cousins,
kak nana and kak nina
then after some fine dining, we still weren't full so back in the hotel,
all the cousins that were on the trip odered PIZZA HUT
i found out kak nana, who is 24 by the way,
has a lot in common with me there's too much similarities that it seems weird, haha.

this is Wak Pairah, or else known as the Mak Datin

my family without abang, we wished he had followed

nadhir and kak nina

kak nina and baby not her baby i mean, that's hakim's sister

and of course, this is kak nana

we went to at least two kratons/istana
and of course there was gamelan, omg
i really felt like playing, just playing my saron demung
and at this restaurant, there was some instruments like slenthem except it's longer
and at this other restaurant there was his Pak Ngatiju playing that similar instrument
i think it's called Kender or something like that

that's Pak Ngatiju, omg i look gay

and that's us cousins eating together

then we went to this bitch no la beach,
i dont know what it's called but
it's totally beautiful

beautiful isn't it?

cousins

me and nadhir on horsey!

and we went to BOROBUDUR
this is my third time, and i'm telling ya
it's still cool and yes, there's still a lot of hot Indonesian mats
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA!

family-ku

the adik-beradik (not complete)

the cousins (not complete)

family on tour

okay i'm tired, i'm just going to end off with some pictures
i miss pakcik a lot, call me please.

all the mahanyangs, haha

after the movie

i love 'em

granny!

the whole group with Pak Kusno, my bapak angkat and Mr Whim

BYE BYE BYE !

2008-12-14T14:19:00.000+08:00

i'm going away to Indonesia again, but for 9 days this time.
i'm gonna miss you guys, and make sure tarian is very very very nice okay?

love, izzieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2008-12-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

bought school books today, okay i didnt buy them. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
okay i shall stop that. tarian today was the shit.
can't wait to put some hip hop into malay dance.
let's go let's go let's go!
tmr's training will be with the guys, hope they won't go back on their words.
can't wait to live my life, hahahahahahhahaha.

thanks for calling, love you♥.

2008-12-11T19:00:00.000+08:00

who you tryna be, bitch?
you don't even got your own act
i know i got the spirit of a hustler and
the swagger of a college kid
and you be jealous of how fresh i am.
you tryin all your best
you doin all you can
to get as good at it as i am.

like i said,
you're messed up, biscuit.
you're outta this world
you're lost in your misery
and you're prioritizin' horribly.

you're not fit to be called a friend
what type of a friend does that kind of thing to another?
face it girl, you ain't worth a dime
you dressin' up to look good
but you're piss poor morally.

you copy my lines cuz you don't got any of your own
you tryna look fine cuz you're insecured deep down inside
you findin' someone who can give you all of his attention
you ain't appreciative of the love you got from your fam.

sister, you way outta line.
and i'm the wrong one for you to try if you were tryna shine.
i don't got no Bently Coupe
i don't got no stacks of paper
but my dignity's way much higher than yours.

listen, this shit here is more than just a lotta lines
if you don't get it that i'm shootin' at you, you're blind
i dont' got no time to tell you up front,
cuz your attitude is so full of hot shit,
and i know you can't accept what i be sayin'.

bizzo,
i don't know what you'll do for your respect,
but i will die for mine.

2008-12-11T16:06:00.000+08:00

11 december 2008

today would have been our one month anniversary, but it's not.

me and my little brother went to town cuz he wanted to buy a pair of skinnies from Ministry Of Clothing. so after buying that, i forced him to go to Wisma Atria with me. haha, i'm bad, i know. i was so hoping i could catch a glimpse of ayie at Starbucks cuz i dialled his home tellie and no one answered. so my lil bro and i kinda got lost in town, like how the fuck do we get to Wisma from Tangs? we looked so friggin' stupid. but what the heck, it's for ayie. then like after walking around for what seemed forever, we arrived at Starbucks. I didnt see him at first. I decided to check the toilet area, who knows if he was smoking. not there. so went the other round and i saw HIS HAIR. OMG. missed you like shit. thanks eh kasi discount (: HAHAHAHA. seriously i miss him so damn much like nobody can imagine. i hope he calls tonight and ask me what the hell i was doing there! PLEASE CALL ME PAKCIK. loooooooooooooove you, i dont care!

2008-12-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

okay finally i got some pictures of our Purbalingga trip in my hands.
i'm just going to post them, if there's anymore, i'll post again.
I REALLY WANT THE PICTURES FROM MISS AZA'S NIKON A300!

2008-12-10T10:00:00.001+08:00

9 december 2008.

was still at nadhir's crib. had to help out with a lot of chores since bibik is back in Indonesia. it's so friggin' tiring cuz it's a terrace and there's so many heavy carpets and room and space. i fell asleep at 4 and woke up at 6. then went home at night.

here's some picturesssss (:

8 december 2008.

HARI RAYA HAJI.
i woke up at 9 and helped out a bit, wait i didnt help at all. nadhir, rano, dyna and myself, we were just lazing around and actually fell asleep until 2 in the afternoon, which by then, a lot of people were already there at nadhir's house. we were shy to go downstairs cuz our muke were busuk from sleeping away. hahahaha. phewiiit, ade abg rushdy lah. omg, i kinda miss him and he's hot! hahaha. then auntie wah fetched abang, rano and me to our other nenek's house. not much stuff over there and we went back to nadhir's crib.

then we had dinner. and nadhir brought up the topic. he said skarang hari raya not that fun anymore cuz not as much people come and visit as compared to last time. then my grandmother was like, "iye kau kahwin lah, nanti aku dah ade cicit." haha. she's damn cute. then nadhir had to go, "okay esok uh nadhir kahwin." i dont know how it came to this but nadhir and i are getting 'married' in Indonesia on tuesday along with Mas Koko. -.-''' damn funny lah nadhir. then he's like asking me to call him abang. wth. hahaha.

7 december 2008

i arrived at nadhir's crib late, around 8.30pm. the walk from the bus stop to his terrace was scary. i mean walking alone. trees everywhere. haha. stupid of me to walk at a fast pace. seriously. yeah then at night, okay morning, 12:32am, HE CALLED. ohmygod i've been waiting for it like since forever. i got 10 miss calls the other day and i was damn sad that i didnt answer my phone because i was already asleep. hmphhh. i miss you so badly pakcik! seriously, im not lying. dont go getting into anymore trouble okay? still do love you, boo (:

2008-11-28T23:27:00.000+08:00

28 november 2008

I SWEAR I WILL NOT WASH MY RIGHT HAND FOREVER.
this is because the right hand of Izzie's has shook the hands of TAUFIK BATISAH and FREAKY Z!

i was there at RP's closing bash for i don't know what thing. i've been there like three times just this month alone. the first performance was by Sonic Avenue. not that awesome i must say but next up was Freaky Z. he had the stage presence mayne. i mean, he's like friggin funny and everybody went bonkers but we didn't skank like he told us to. hahahhaa. i'm so glad he performed the song "In love with the same woman". i think that's the title anyway, haha. it was great cuz that's the only song from him that i memorized! 'oh no, i'm in love again. i'm in love with the same woman who's gonna leave me in the end. ying-yang.'

then there was this Indian guy named Praveen or something who's gonna be a big hit cuz he'll be appearing in MTV ASIA. that's tight. he was good. and then there was Yet. HAHAHAHAHA.

of course they saved the best (TAUFIK) for last, haha.
snapped photos with Taufik and Freaky Z.
i'll try to upload them once i get them from my cousin (:

2008-11-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

i sent you an sms :
'Papa, izyan here. I'm flying off to Indonesia this saturday, are you free to send me off? :D'
you didn't reply. oh, how unexpected was that?
it hurts me to hear it when my mother would say how irresponsible he is.
but, it's true isn't it? you never even try to prove her wrong.
i keep hoping that one day you would amazingly change into a responsible father.
i have been hoping eversince i could understand about the divorce that happened.

i mean how could you even bear to leave 3 of your children when they're still 5, 3 and 1 years old?
it's just plain cruel if you ask me, but oh well, you already did that.
you cruel, cruel man.
and to continue being irresponsible after that?
i don't know how to describe you anymore.
up till now papa, even after you have 5 other children in your new family,
you're still as irresponsible as ever.

it hurts me to think whether you even think of the three of us at all.
i mean, we're what you brought into this world,
and you treat us like some stray cats,
you just leave us with mama to live.

if you don't give the monthly $600 maintenance money,
and mama did not have enough money for expenses,
did you ever, did you ever think that we could possibly be starving to death?
what, don't tell me you feed your other five children and forget about feeding us.
you see, you take it for granted that mama is a capable woman.
and i don't like that.
i would like to see how you would take care of 3 children all by yourself for 12 years.
i bet they would be so thin and poor.

that's why i treasure mama so much.
she's such a strong woman, and you're such a weak man.
and i hate it when people say, 'He's still your dad no matter how bad he is.'
half of the people who said that don't even know how it feels to not live with your father for more than three-quarters of your life.
and how it feels to have such an irresponsible dad, who just comes to see you once a year.
sometimes more than that but still, it doesn't change things.

sometimes i feel like celebrating fathers' day or just wish you a happy fathers' day,
but then i think again, do you really deserve it?

it sucks when your parents are divorced,
i know some kids experience worse situations than i do,
but still, my family's problem is unique on it's own.
sometimes i feel thankful that i'm not living with my dad.
especially when i hear about how some girls are being sexually abused.

i hope you will get back to me with a reply that says you'll send me off.
that will definitely show you care.
if you do send me off and you kiss my cheeks when i'm about to leave,
i know i'll get that weird, uncommon, uneasy feeling everytime you do that.
but i like it cuz it shows you love me.
maybe not so much, but you still do.

and i hate it that i still love you, even though you've hurt the woman i love most in my whole life.
no matter what, i'm a forgiving person and i still keep you in my prayers.
i do papa, you and her, always in my first line of my prayers.

i love you papa,
don't hurt me anymore.

2008-11-27T07:40:00.000+08:00

i don't really care if others think our short relationship was a joke,
i still love you. and i've been thinking about you more often these days;
when i go to sleep, right after i wake up, after each prayer, when i'm all alone.
it hurts to lose someone you thought you could gain happiness with.

thanks Ayie for going out with me one last time as a boyfie.
thanks for treating me to nasi ayam and peach tea at banquet (:

still do love you.

2008-11-26T19:14:00.000+08:00

This would be a good time for this poem.

Bisikku pada bulan,
Kembalikan,
Temanku,
Kekasihku,
Syurgaku.

Tanpa dia,
malam menemaniku,
sepi memelukku.

Bulan, jangan biar siang,
Biar alam ini kelam,
Biar ia sepi,
Sepertiku.

Although we're not together anymore,
you'll always be in my heart & in my prayers.
And this heart is still in your hands.

2008-11-26T05:59:00.000+08:00

EAST COAST WAS AWESOMEZXZXZX, YO!

These few days it has been all about friends.
We went to East Coast Park, 15 of us.
Seriously it has been a while since i've spend quality time with 'em Sleeqeh,
and these days have been fulfilling.
So i arrived in school like TWENTY minutes late,
because i was busy editing the programme booklet until 8.30
and i realised i haven't bathed for goodness sake.
So i was scurrying off with the guitar and stuff.

In the bus itself, i managed to learn playing the whole song of 'With you'!
I'm so proud of my musical talent! (chey mcm paham jek, padahal baru satu lagu.)
Yah then we got off the bus and found a suitable place under shelter.
And Cikgu Manaf just had to sweep the floor. haha.
We played the guitar for a while and got ourselves rented bikes.
To those who tried to take my fitted cap off my head, shmiztsxzcxzsc!
Saufy thanks for trying so hard until i ran into the BUSHES. blearghh.
Damn, it was fun.
Took some pictures with Syafiq's FOUND camera.
'Twas totally awesome.

Then we quickly returned the bikes and relaxed for a while.
Of course the triplets just had to take some pictures together!
hahahahahahahahah, ah moi, minah and meenachi(:
or rather farhanah, izyan and diyanah.
Snap, snap, snap then off to the beach.
NADIAH THANKS EH FOR PUSHING ME INTO THE SEA.
We played Captain's Ball and Syafiq pushed me into the water.
Damn Syafiq you skinny monsterrrr!
And SUFY was laughing away the whole time in this high-pitched tone.
Super duper cute i'm telling you!

After that, it was changing in the dirty toilet and
back onto the bus.
Sang St12 Puspa all the way back to Lot 1 while Naddye played the guitar.
We went to KFC and ate food we craved for since the early morning.
And i had the 'joy' of bumping into Yan Bo Sir and the rest of 'em SIs.

Food was great of course,
then we went behind Lot 1 and jammed.
hahahaha, jammed eh, jammed.
With You, Lucky and Puspa.
The day was totally great,
and knowing that these are the peeps that i'll be going to Purbalingga with,
i'm sure i'll have a bloody bloody hell of a fun time there.

So now i'm posting at 6:17 in the morning of 26 Nov.
I can't wait to meet him later after like more than a week.
I love you ayie (:

2008-11-25T14:35:00.000+08:00

QUIZ !

Starting time: 2:36pm
Name: Izyan Liana
Sisters: none.
Brothers: 2, one elder, one younger.
Shoe size: 7/8.
Height: 159cm
Where do you live: Woodlands.
Favourite drinks: Mountain Dew.
Favourite breakfast: Sausages.

Have you ever
Been on a plane: Yes, twice. Soon, it will be four times!
Swam in the ocean: Ocean? nope.
Fallen asleep at school: Countless of times.
Broken someone's heart: No idea.
Fell off your chair: Don't recall.
Waited for someone to call: Yes.
Saved emails: Yes.
What is your room like: MESSY.
What's right beside you: Wall.
What is the last thing you ate: Food.

Ever had
Chicken pox: Yeah.
Sore throat: Yesssss, hate it.
Stitches: Nope, but I think stitches are cool.
Broken nose: No.

Do you
Believe in love at first sight: Hyeap.
Like picnics: Yess.

Who was were the last person
You danced with: Hmmm, entah eh.
Last made you smile: Friends.
You last yelled at: Don't recall.

Today did you
Talk to someone you like: Yes, my little brother (:
Kissed anyone: No.
Get sick: I've been sick since forever.
Talk to an ex: Hell no.
Miss someone: YES, my boo.
Eat: Yes, luch.
Best feeling in the world: When my mum is proud of me.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Used to.
What's under your bed: Nothing much, dust, just dust.
Who do you really hate: Britney Spears? k bedek, aku tkde idea.
What time is it now: 2.44pm

Random
Is there a person who is on your mind now: Yes.
Do you have any siblings: Yes.
Do you want children: YES!
Do you smile often: YESSS!
Do you like your hand-writing: Sometimes.
Are your toe nails painted: Nope.
What color shirt are you wearing now: Red.
What were you doing at 7.00 p.m. yesterday: Just arrived home from ECP (:
When did you cry last: Yesterday.
Are you a friendly person: YEZZURRRRRRRRR.
Do you have any pets?: Yes, a pet cat called MANISS.
Where is the person you have feelings for right now: At work, i miss him ):
Did you hold hands with the person who mean anything to you now: Yes.
Do you sleep with the TV on: Rarely.
What are you doing right now: This quiz.
Have you ever crawled through a window: Nope.
Can you handle the truth: Yeah, but I will tear.
Are you too forgiving: Depends on the situation.
Are you closer to your mother or father? Mother.
Who was the last person you cried in front of: My little brother.
How many people can you say you've really loved: Countless.
Do you eat healthy: Not really.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex: I didn't take pictures with any of my ex-es.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you: Yes.
IF you're having a bad day, where are you most likely to go to: My room.
Are you confident: BIG YES.

5 things on my to-do list today
1. clean my room
2. pack for PB
3. talk with my baby!
4. CLEAN MY ROOM
5. PACK FOR PB

5 of my bad points
1. loud
2. get emotionally attached too easily
3. irritating
4. talkative
5. slow

2008-11-23T16:22:00.000+08:00

tunggu,
sebelum kita terpisah,
sangat ingin kubertanya,

adakah kau pun merasa?

rasa,
sangat suamnya di dada,
umpama baru kusedar,
di dalamnya ada jiwaku.

2008-11-23T09:17:00.000+08:00

EDITED.

2008-11-23T08:11:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a hell lotta fun.
our first public gamelan performance!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

i did make-up for some of my girls, and i think they looked awesome!

so one possible job in the future would be , make-up artist? (:

the performance itself was okay,

we missed a round of pangkur.
but what the hell, the audience don't know anything about gamelan anyway.

so yeah, then we went to the new school campus.

the whole lot of us seemed to be crazy about taking pictures, funny.

and then i became a part of the new found triplet, because i looked like di.

so it is, ah moi (mi pok!), meenachi and mee-nah! woooots~

giler lah korang, but it was damn tiring and dark.

purbalingga is just a few days away,

and i've not talked to you for a couple of days.

i miss you like shit, baby.

i love you <3

2008-11-22T08:37:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOD GIRLS I SAW ISMAHAIREE AT PENINSULA YESTERDAY!

of all places to bump into the hot violinist/musician. PENIN. with my lil bro and mum? seriously unexpected mayne! he was with two other guys. of course he had his blonde thingy going on with his hair. and he was wearing specs. stupid lah, why didnt i just tegur him. stupid stupid. when i passed him i was like telling my momma, "mama tengok tuuuu", pointing at him. the my mum was like "kenape?".. then i told her he played the violin during SEKARAN II and he rocked the shit out of it. then she was like, "asal kau tak tegur. tegur je lah. bukannye kau dapat jumpe dier slalu. dah alang-alang terserempak kat sini." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! stupid shit. haha.

apart from isma (chey isma eh?), we went to eat in penin also. coincidentally, my uncle was working as the cook there. like wth? my uncle? hahahahahaha. dearest wak paidi. me and my lil bro were still kinda mad at momma cuz she wouldnt let me own a pair or capri's and she wouldnt let him have a fitted cap. shit lah, should have gone and buy them without her before she said i cannot buy them. like fcuk!?

at least MINISTRY OF CLOTHING was there. the shop is dope, yo. i bought one of 'em shirts like faddie's, a pair of jeans and a hoody bag. of course my lil bro wanted a few stuffs. i think we were in that shop for nearly an hour mayne. total: 97 bucks. thanks mum. balek-balek mak kau jugak yang bayarkan kan izyan? (:

so in all, i got myself 2 of 'em shirts like fad's. a fitted cap. a pair of jeans. and a hoody bag. wow. then we went to town, jalan-jalan. saw berok working at starbucks, i was looking out for my boyf but i didnt see him. felt kinda down thinking about how hard it has been to keep in touch with him. nemind, we're taking it as a challenge.

then we ate at Mac. CARAMEL FRAPPE. woooots~ took some pichas here and there. and we made our way home. quite an enjoyable day i must say, with bumping into isma and all. i wished i could upload the pics, i mean my lil bro finally smiled showing his teeth and you can see his dimple! but the handphone's a bit shitty, so yeah. i'll try my best to upload.

cant wait for gamelan performance later.
cant wait to do make up for some people later.

baby, im missing you.
i love you(:

2008-11-19T12:28:00.000+08:00

Dari senyuman manismu menawaniku,
Aku tunduk lalu tersipu-sipu malu.
Yang kumahu kamu,
ada di depanku.

Nanti kumenanti bila kau tanya aku,
yang jatuh lumpuh berada di sisi kamu.
Kau sebut namaku,
Aku pun terpaku.

Wajahmu,
bermain di ingatan,
selalu,
kuterkenang kamu.

Kamu yang,
buatku melayang terbang.
Kamu yang,
buatku mencapai bintang.
Kamu yang,
bawaku kesana.
Kamu,
segala mula dari kamu.

2008-11-18T19:41:00.000+08:00

im just effing tired.
with the coughing and now, flu.
THANKS.
i can't believe i was falling asleep while playing gamelan!
i know, it's like wtf?
and malay dance lagi, with the orang-orang shalom movers watching.
stupid malay guys, typical typical.

argh! wth, im going to sleep, i cant take this.

2008-11-11T19:22:00.000+08:00

AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
okay best, okay best.
this is super totally great, i mean, you not going in today.
you cant possibly imagine how glad i am.
okay maybe you still have to go on friday.
but, at least more time for us kan kan kan? (:

GAMELAN AND TARIAN WAS AWESOME MAYNE!
i seriously seriously like gamelan.
and my saron demung.
and playing UDAN MAS and PANGKUR.

UDAN MAS.
6532 6532 3323 6532 (two times)
7777 5672 2765 6765 (two times)

PANGKUR.
3237 3276
7632 5327
3532 6532
5327 3276

gamelan rules big time.

& tarian, wohooo.
i mean malay dance after 6 years?
hahahahahahahahahahaha.
kalau dengan PM aku, confirm gerek punyer (:

& piggyback faddie?
i want that picture, cepat!

things are seriously moving at a fast pace.
i mean Purbalingga is only 2 weeks away.
programme booklet still not done up yet.
then i haven't build up my foundation.
im so not ready for sec 4 life.
and after Purbalingga, im still flying back to Indonesia for 9 days.
maybe i shouldn't have booked the ticket.
but maybe, i still deserve time to rest.
arghh, excretion mind map aku belom buat laaaaaah.
k izyan, gi buat hwk okay? haha.

2008-11-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

CINTA PART TWO.

iyangileromeo, cinta part two-ku!

i love you lah kawan! (:

let me give you the low down on this guy;
#1 : he's cute.
#2 : he can sing.
#3 : he plays the guitar.
#4 : he's a good good friend!(:
#5 : he has girls chasing after him, but he's true to one!
(suka banyak, cinta satu eh iyan? haha.)

can't wait to meet up with him and sing together.
counting the days down till next monday.
I HAVE TO HAFAL THE LYRICS.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

thanks for being there for me.
thanks for hearing my rants about saidun.
thanks for being a great guy friend.
thanks for so many other things that i may have forgotten of.